we are not numbers

emerging writers from Palestine tell their stories and advocate for their human rights

What is freedom?

The audience asked what freedom means to us. Freedom?! It is to be free from fear.
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Digital art by Basel El-Maqosui

In a Skype discussion with an audience in London after some artistic presentations by youth in Gaza about future, freedom and blockade:

The audience in London asked what freedom means to us.

Abdalrahim said: It is like an eagle soaring over the oceans with no pause.

Shrouq said: It is like a bird that leaves the cage and flies into the horizon.

Anas said: We don’t know; we never lived it. You tell us what it is!

I say: Freedom?! It is to be free from fear.

I will explain: Do you know the moment when you brush against death? Like when, for example, you want to cross the road and a car coming very fast almost hits you—but at the last moment you jump back? Do you know this moment, have you ever lived this moment, can you recall how you felt, what you thought at that single moment when you believed it was the end?

You see your life flash before your eyes, the life you lived but also the life you wish to live.

You see all your beloved ones and you think you will not see them any more.

You see your wife mourning you and think how life will be different and hard without you.

You see your kids and you wonder how they will grow up without you.

You see these things and much more in a single moment, and then you relax. It is over, the car did not crash into you, you are alive, safe, free from death, and you sigh.

Why do I say all of this?

I am just trying to find a way to answer your question: What is freedom for me??

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Digital art by Basel El-Maqosui

In Gaza, we live this moment every single day many times.

When there is war, we are afraid for our safety, we are afraid for the safety of our beloved ones, we are afraid for our homes.

When there is no war, I am afraid war will come.

I am afraid I might lose one of my beloved ones.

I am afraid of losing my home.

I am afraid if I get sick or if any of my family members get sick, we will not be able to leave Gaza for health care.

I am afraid that my daughter will not be able to get out of Gaza to continue her education.

I am afraid that if I lose my job, I will have no food to feed my family.

I am afraid that if I say something that Hamas doesn’t like, they will put me in prison or torture me.

I am afraid all the time, like someone hanging onto a ledge who can't go down or up.

I can tell you about millions of things I am afraid of only because I am living in Gaza under occupation and blockade.

Freedom for me is to be free from fear. 

 

Project director's note: Seven of our writers recently participated in a drama workshop led by Hossam Madhoun and Jamal Rozzi, who run Gaza's Theater for Everybody. Theater is a rarity in Gaza, so this was a special treat — an opportunity to explore another mode of self-expression. The workshop culminated in an exchange with London's Az Theater, where viewers watched videos of the young performers reciting a peice of their own creation that expresses what "freedom" means to them, and then engaged in a Q-and-A. This is the third in a series, focusing on the poems the youth wrote and their performances. (The series begins here.)

Posted March 2, 2016

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