May 2021 was one of the deadliest months in recent history for Palestinians, and not because of the pandemic. That month brought intensified occupation violence across Palestine including, most notably, 11 tragic days of bombardments in Gaza. May 2021 also exemplified the escalating violence we Palestinians have been living under for the last 73 years.
Unlike many who cannot speak up for their rights, the horrors unleashed upon Palestine during that month did not strip me of my voice. In fact, those 11 nights of uncertainty motivated me to speak up. But, as a modest young woman with a deep love for my community, it felt unnatural and wrong for me to center my own voice, because this is not only my story. So, I reached out to my peers, friends and family members. In the true spirit of We Are Not Numbers, I want to share their experiences as an act of humanizing solidarity in the face of adversity:
“The idea that my parents had to go to work during the last aggression on Gaza because they’re doctors made me always afraid of the fact that they would be the occupation’s next target.” — Ameera, 18
“I was in Gaza when the last aggression happened. I was always scared of never waking up again. Now, I am not in Gaza anymore but those nightmares I lived there keep haunting me.” — Noor, 15
“I cannot say anything but that we did not expect to come out alive from the last attack on Gaza.” — Lamia, 23
“It is a psychological war waged by the Israeli occupation against us so that they let us know our lives are useless, but we will keep telling them that they are not.” — Zaid, 16
“I was studying for my high school exams (Tawjeehi) during the last aggression on Gaza when I received the news of my friend’s martyrdom. That moment will always be indescribably heart-breaking to me.” — Mohammed, 18
“I live in Germany, so physically, I wasn’t in Gaza when the last aggression happened, but mentally, our minds and hearts were there. We did nothing but watch the news all the time which made us feel useless.” — Yasmin,17
“The Israeli occupation bombarded our souls before bombarding our buildings.” — Sara, 18
“A massacre happened in my neighborhood and it felt like I died a hundred times. I couldn’t stay safe and I couldn’t save others. The feeling of helplessness haunts me till today.” — Sandri, 16
“I felt like I was stuck in a bubble.” — Tala, 22
“There was more workload since I work mainly with the amputees. After the last aggression, three new kids lost one of their legs, and many of the old amputees got flashbacks of their bad experience of losing their legs because of living it all over again during the last aggression. Four old amputees lost their prostheses during the aggression while running away from nearby bombs.” — Hadeel, 27
These comments rained down with an impact that mimics the pounding of Israel’s fist upon our freedoms. The longer I read between those lines, the more I relate to them. The heart-breaking stories I heard has guided me towards the realization that, although each of us is unique and far from just a number as reflected in mainstream media, we share pain and trauma. This creates a bond stronger than any bomb trying to destroy us.
The comments also reveal two things we Palestinians all have in common: fear and pride. But I also realized that young people here in Gaza know almost nothing about maintaining good mental health under such living conditions. This is ultimately what pushed me to share the perspectives of my peers and come up with something from which we can all benefit. I decided to create an initiative called Trauma-Free Gaza, where everyone can benefit from each others’ experiences.
To put it simply, we want to benefit from any psychologists and psychiatrists who read our stories and who have professional experience dealing with the traumas we have experienced. This initiative is something I needed at a certain point in my life, but I could not find such a thing back then, so I decided to create it myself because, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
This initiative aims to raise awareness about the importance of mental health through a variety of ways. During sessions, we try to make the atmosphere as friendly as possible so that it feels more like an informal setting than a support group. We play games together, discuss worldwide issues and try to come up with innovative solutions to the issues we face today. Alongside stressing the importance of having a healthy mental outlook, we try our best to motivate and encourage each other to volunteer. Some people think that volunteering means giving something and receiving nothing in return, but when you volunteer, you receive experience rather than an amount of money. Moreover, volunteering and community service projects help you stand out in your college application, on your CV, and in other ways. So it is a win-win for the volunteer and the recipient of this voluntary work.
Everything I experienced during that miserable month of May 2021 has shaped me into the person I am today. It made me stronger and more insistent, and it taught me that there is always at least one good thing behind every tragedy. We might not notice it, but if we dig beneath the rubble, one day we’ll find it.
