Photo: Batoul Mohamed Hassan Abu Ali

In Gaza, I always adored the calmness of the night.
It was a time of breathing pure air,
A time of studying, working, and reflecting on the beauty of life.
But nowadays, I am filled with hate and fear.
As nightfall sets in Gaza,
I am surrounded by terrifying sounds and a glowing red sky.
Fear envelops me.
I even fear looking at the sky.
My heart is filled with horror and dread.
For more than 600 days of killing and destruction, I fear the sky.
I can no longer open my window to gaze at the streets,
To hear songs, to breathe.
Gone are the days of inhaling the night air with joy.
I wait on pins and needles for the rising of the sun
To know I am fine.
That the new day has started and my family is well.
To surround myself with people I love.
Now I wait for the sound of their voices to make me feel safe.
I cannot bear the night anymore.
I just want the sun to shine
Until I can once again breathe the night air
In safety
In peace.

Self-portrait by Batoul Mohamed Hassan Abu Ali