Scene from home window. Photo: Hala Al-Khatib

I close my eyes,
feel my heartbeat,
and hear yours instead.
I assure myself
you’re here, holding me,
or there, close to my fear,
hearing what I can’t say,
and understanding what I can’t express.

Hidden feelings and unspoken words,
while silence remains the only master —
either we kill it,
or its light will be coming to us,
carrying death within it.

He’s lurking,
knows when to appear,
and how.
When this fear sets me free,
your love surrounds me.
He thinks he’ll surprise me,
but he doesn’t know —
a girl raised waiting for death
won’t be easy prey.

Protect me with reality,
show me pain as you show me love.
Do not soften it.
Let truth be a window,
like my windows —
they warn me of enemies,
reveal the light that deceives me,
hiding death behind its beauty,
saving me with honesty.

My nights are no longer mine.
They conspire against me,
trying to silence my words,
to make their voices louder,
forgetting our vow.

I gave them my secrets,
revealed my weakness,
hoping they would guide me
through darkness.
Oh, how naive I was!
I trusted them with my inner light,
but they left me blind to my last
night.