we are not numbers

emerging writers from Palestine tell their stories and advocate for their human rights

If the war stops now

If the war stops now, who will bring back our loved ones who were killed in cold blood?
Ahmed Dremly

 

Man on bicycle by Gaza sea.
Self-portrait of Ahmed Dremley from his Instagram account

If the war stops now, who will bring back our loved ones who were killed in cold blood?

If the war stops now, who will heal our mental health from the multiple traumas and panic attacks?

If the war stops now, who will find the missing half of my friend’s body after bombing him?

If the war stops now, who will recover our physical wounds?

If the war stops now, who will convince me that I may not be killed in the next moments?

If the war stops now, who will erase the color of blood from the White flour bags and the sidewalks?

If the war stops now, who will reassure me that I won’t have to evacuate another five, ten, or thirteen times?

If the war stops now, who will help me cry after my tears have dried up?

If the war stops now, who will assure me that my mom’s medicine will always be available?

If the war stops now, who will stop the drone’s sound in my mind?

If the war stops now, who will change the smell of death lingering in my mind?

If the war stops now, who will rebuild the memories of every corner of my sister’s house, which was bombed and turned into rubble?

If the war stops now, who will compensate me for the days of humiliation spent sleeping in the streets?

If the war stops now, who will assure me I will not be uprooted from my home, neighborhood, or city?

If the war stops now, who will help me find my dead uncle’s grave after the Israeli bulldozer dug up the cemetery?

If the war stops now, who will explain to me that life is not only loss, grief, and pain?

If the war stops now, who will turn the sound of crying into laughter?

If the war stops now, if the war stops now if the war stops now!

Hundreds of questions need to be answered, but the war hasn’t stopped yet, leading to one question: Will I be alive if the war doesn’t stop now?

 

This poem is republished with permission from Mondoweiss.

Man gazing at Gaza sea.

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