we are not numbers

emerging writers from Palestine tell their stories and advocate for their human rights

My personal black hole

For me, the concept of a black hole is all too real.
Basman Derawi
  • Gaza Strip
  • Diaspora

The first photo of a black hole was released this month. Black holes are objects or regions of space that have collapsed in on themselves, which results in a huge amount of mass being concentrated in a very small area. Their gravity is so strong it pulls in everything around it, including light.

Black hole

The world is agog
over the first black hole
caught on camera.
Yet it is not my first.

Deep in my heart,
there is a black
hole of nothing.
And my nothing 
isn't really something,
not worthy of awe and wonder.

My black hole
grows increasingly bigger 
and bigger.
I am afraid it will swollow me,
turning me into
a black stone.

My hole of blackness
consumes my heart. 
A sound from nowhere
whispers in my ear, insisting 
my life will never change.
Loss and fear
remain my closest companions.

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